It’s just my opinion…
This is the start of something. I am not sure what but I have decided to share my thoughts with the world because I KNOW A LOT OF STUFF. My thoughts on everything. Without a doubt this will rub some people the wrong way. It will make some people laugh. I guess my main purpose is to get people to think critically instead of just following the flock. With that in mind we are sponsoring the Urban Fashion and Music Conference.
As a sponsor we are researching the use of the word "Urban" We are interested to know what your definition of "Urban" is. To participate just click HERE.
So get at me if you agree or disagree with what I say. That's why I love Hip-Hop, it is more than just fashion and music. Hip Hop is life! Besides, I KNOW A LOT OF STUFF. (subscribe)
Quiz "the Urban Authority"
Black people time
Since the beginning of time great minds such as Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Stephen Hawkin and others have stretched the imagination of Man and science trying to understand the unknown mysteries of the physical Universe. While these great Men have dedicated their lives to explaining things like Black Holes, the speed of light, the existence of grey matter and why you put two socks in the washing machine and only one comes out, I have decided to explain the law of BPT or Black People Time. In in the greek it is Blakus Peopilius Teemus. It is important that we understand the word then we can look at a phenomenon powerful enough to bend light and warp the time continum. Blakus, is to do with skin color or culture related to the amount of light that is absorbed by the outer layer of skin. Peopilius, refers to species homo sapein. Teemus means time either chronos or kairos.
Now that we have all the technical terms out of the way let's look at how it works. Rather than just giving you the formula I will explain what happens. An event of any kind is planned to a strict time line using complex algorithms. The organizers work tirelessly to ensure that all possible glitches are addressed and prepared for. When preparing the running order BPT is taken into consideration. Knowing that no matter what time the event starts or how close to the venue or location people are they will always be late. BPT manifests itself at concerts, parties, awards shows and it has even been known to happen at burials (Micheal Jackson for example was laid to rest seven weeks after his death). This strange occurrence has caused trepidation for many an event organizer. There are theories that suggest the BPT was one of the reasons that daylight savings time was introduced. I am not sure how true that is but one thing I do know is that my people seem to think that being late is ok.
As the worlds leading advocate for hip hop I have to give it a slap on the wrist. It is not ok to be late. It's just disrespectful, to the organizers, yourself and the people that actually made an effort to be on time. The ironic thing is that most of the people "important" enough to be late pride themselves in their expensive watches and $6000 cellphones that can read your mind. Come on people I have a seiko and even that has a hour and second hand on it. As I am sure you can guess I am a bit annoyed at this but there is hope because necessity is the mother of invention. I have developed an iphone application that counteracts the effects at BPT. It is available to anyone willing to send me their social security number, bank account details, a photo of their dog and birth certificate. Email them to imgonescamu@nigerianconsolidatedservices.com. As soon as I receive your details and payment of $2.99 payble to: Prince Tekyamoni I will forward the application (trust me I'm a Prince). I look forward to single-handedly eliminating BPT while having the number 1 application on iphone.
Well that's it for me. I would like to hear if you have been impacted by BPT. Send me your stories.
P.S. Don't be late for the Urban Fashion and Music Conference. It's not until next year but I know how slow some of you are.
So get at me if you agree or disagree with what I say. That's why I love Hip-Hop, it is more than just fashion and music. Hip Hop is life! Besides, I KNOW A LOT OF STUFF.(subscribe)
Quiz "the Urban Authority"
This is why YouTube rules!
The internet has brought us good and bad. On the downside we have know it all's who think that just because they have a blog they are actually important. On the up side we have access to information at the click of a mouse. We can communicate with friends and family all over the world or even in the next room. For me there are two sites that changed the world, or at least my world. My two favorite websites are IMDB (internet movie database) and YouTube.
Where else are you going to find out everything about movies and music. Others have tried but when the Man that knows everything (that's me just incase you didn't know) wants to prove his superior intellect and knowledge of everything that is worth knowing it is good to know that YouTube and IMDB are there for support. Both sites have settled many an argument.
I challenge you to search either site for something and not find it. Go ahead, think of a topic and type it into YouTube and I bet you will find something. The best finds are clips of our hardcore bullet proof rap stars before they became famous. Seeing T Pain working as a security guard at Chuck E Cheese is priceless.
So say what you want, the internet is not just about viagra and replica watches. There is some good stuff on the internet and if you don't have a life there are even sites where you can pretend that you do have a life, and friends, and money, and a model girlfriend who watches sports and washes the dishes.
Anyway here is a treat for you. One of my favorite songs EVER!!
So get at me if you agree or disagree with what I say. That's why I love Hip-Hop, it is more than just fashion and music. Hip Hop is life! Besides, I KNOW A LOT OF STUFF.(subscribe)
Quiz "the Urban Authority"
Blah, blah, blah. Why do Women talk so much?
I was shopping with my Cousin Samina yesterday and the differences between Men and Women were painfully apparent. Don't get me wrong I think that Women are great, I even have one of my own. I was just reminded that their brains are wired completely differently than Men's. First off, despite the fact that Women find it much easier to complement total strangers, they are also very catty. Don't let them notice a bad color combination, run down shoes, mix-match boyfriend (He is way to good for Her) or event worse a bad weave!
Women can also fully assess each other from head to toe in a split second and not miss a syllable in the conversation. Yet, despite the ability to multi-task far better than Men, just mention the word shoes, and the little hour glass just spins for a few seconds as they quickly try to justify in their minds why they definitely need another pair. Unlike Men who leer at Women and practically drool (sometimes they really do drool) when they see an attractive lady. Woman can get an eye full of a guy without their boyfriend knowing. Guys have you ever tried to sneak a peak and have your girlfriend give you the look?
If I had to pick my favorite thing about Women it would be their propensity to talk. Wow! can they talk. Women will talk and talk and talk. I have actually seen Women in my family talk until they get tired. A certain member of my family who I love dearly could talk in the Olympics, she is a world class talker. It wouldn't be so bad if they just talked, but they actually expect us to listen, what's that about? As Men we are usually trying to solve complex problems and use our brain power to end world hunger or save the rain forests, but our Women want us to know about the girl at the office that had a bad boob job and other minutiae.
Considering how much Women talk it is surprising that there are not more Female rappers. It seems that talking A LOT would lend it self to being a great rapper. I for one rate Nikki D, MC Lyte, EVE, Lil Kim and so on but where are the rest? This is a call for all Women to unite for the good of the music industry and the World.
Here is the challenge. Talk 70% less, take the things that you would have talked about and write them down on paper (or use a computer if you have one). Find a producer (DJ Such-N-Such is probably free). Go to the studio and record a few songs. Build a myspace and use the time that you would have used to tell your Husband (Boyfriend/Guy infront of you at the store/Operator) every detail of what happened on the way to the nail shop; use that time to shop your demo tape (or CD/MP3) and get a multi-million dollar record deal. While you are doing that me and the guys will watch sports on T.V. There you have it. We will be helping Queen Latifah find the next hot female rapper, and Men will finally get to watch television in peace and figure out how to cure baldness.
Here is a great video that proves my point. Women are born talkers!
So get at me if you agree or disagree with what I say. That's why I love Hip-Hop, it is more than just fashion and music. Hip Hop is life! Besides, I KNOW A LOT OF STUFF.(subscribe)
Quiz "the Urban Authority"
Why do British people talk and spell funny?
I've been back in England for a while and I still can't get used to certain things. First of all calling the 'Bathroom' the 'Toilet' just sounds rude. The fact that so many people go and have a 'fag' on their lunch break is alarming. Why is everything 'brilliant'? Why does color have a "u" in it? Why do they call an elevator a lift? Why haven't I met the Queen and had tea and crumpets? Since when was it ok for banks to advertise savings "schemes"?
The most annoying thing is British people's lack of understanding the size of the US, despite watching American TV, eating American food, listening to American music, wearing American clothes and going to Florida and New York every year on their 'holiday'.
I just don't get how they make statements like "the weather in America is so nice" not taking into consideration that most states are bigger than their whole country and it is night for 6 months out of the year in Alaska. Grrrrrr, I just had to have a quick moan.
If you have ever visited England you were probably surprised by what you saw. When Justine Timberlake was out here accepting a GQ award a few years back he said the funniest thing. He said, "I've never been in a room with so many 'famous' people I've never heard of" Thanks Justine, welcome to my life! Plus I guess it is better than being French. And finally am I the only one that almost fell out of my seat when you first heard Craig David talk? I mean come on, really. Who talks like that? Maybe that's why we don't have any top 10 British rappers. Who knows?
*this message was brought to you by the British Board of Tourism. "Come see England and stay for tea!"So get at me if you agree or disagree with what I say. That's why I love Hip-Hop, it is more than just fashion and music. Hip Hop is life! Besides, I KNOW A LOT OF STUFF.(subscribe)
Quiz "the Urban Authority
Your mom was a Gold Digger
Well maybe not your mom.. Kanye West's song Gold Digger was a great source of material for me. For years I have caused arguments with family and friends by saying, "Women marry up, and Men marry down" in other words most women marry Men who are doing better than they are. Read carefully I said MOST not all. So that means at some point your Mom was looking at your Dad thinking, hmmm "I hope he didn't spend all his money on that chain."
The fact is a guy with a lot of money on his way home from his high powered job in his expensive car would hit on the girl at the drive thru window at McDonald's if she looks good. The same girl being hit on would probably diss one of her co-workers if He tried to ask her out. Obviously this is a huge generalization but you get the point. Girls want the baller, not the guy scraping the gum from underneath the table at White Castle.
Men are attracted to physical things (you know what I mean) and Women are attracted to success and power. That's why when a girl is telling her friends about the new guy that she has met, one of the first questions is... you know, don't act like you don't know what I am about to say.. "What does he do?" The first question a guy would ask is "What does she look like". Yes we are shallow and pathetic, but you already knew that.
This is how the world works. You can deny it or just accept it. Guys spend most of their time trying to meet, impress, and keep Women. Buying clothes and cars that they sometimes don't like because they know Women do. I know guys who's career choices were based on meeting Women (Why else would a straight man be a hairdresser?) On the other hand Women spend most of their time trying to look good and act like they are not interested in football players and Doctors. They read books on how to get Men when all they have to do is be themselves and laugh at our bad jokes.
Thanks to Hip-Hop people like Jay Z, Lil Wayne, Snoop Dog and others can get girls regular guys can only dream of. Can you image if Snoop wasn't rich or if one of your friends brought Lil Wayne to the prom? Yes it would be a whole different scene.
So get at me if you agree or disagree with what I say. That's why I love Hip-Hop, it is more than just fashion and music. Hip Hop is life! Besides, I KNOW A LOT OF STUFF.
Quiz "the Urban Authority"